Divorce

Divorce can be a life-altering experience for children, often triggering feelings of confusion, anxiety, sadness, and even guilt. The family dynamic they once knew shifts dramatically, and navigating this change can be overwhelming. Shiva Movafaghian, a dedicated psychotherapist, certified play therapist, and certified life coach, has over 15 years of experience working with children and families through the emotional challenges of divorce. She uses a compassionate, child-centered approach that addresses the unique needs of each child, helping them process their emotions and adjust to the new family structure.

Shiva begins by creating a safe and welcoming therapeutic environment where children can express their feelings freely. Her use of play therapy is particularly effective for children who may have difficulty verbalizing their emotions. Play therapy provides a non-threatening and familiar way for children to communicate what they are feeling inside, whether it’s sadness, anger, or confusion. Through activities like drawing, storytelling, and imaginative play, Shiva can observe and better understand the child’s emotional state. These sessions allow children to make sense of their experiences in a way that feels natural and comforting, helping them to feel validated and understood.

One of the primary goals of Shiva’s work is to help children develop emotional regulation skills. Divorce often brings up intense emotions that children may not know how to manage. Shiva uses mindfulness-based techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and body awareness activities, to teach children how to calm themselves when feeling overwhelmed. These practices not only provide immediate relief from anxiety and distress but also equip children with lifelong skills for emotional self-regulation. By incorporating fun and engaging mindfulness exercises, Shiva ensures that children remain engaged in their healing process and feel empowered to manage their emotions.

Shiva also employs cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to address the thoughts and beliefs that children may develop as a result of their parents’ divorce. It is not uncommon for children to internalize the divorce and blame themselves, thinking they did something to cause their parents to separate. Shiva gently challenges these negative and inaccurate beliefs, guiding children to understand that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them deeply. Using age-appropriate language and examples, she helps children reframe these thoughts and develop a more balanced perspective on their family situation. This cognitive restructuring fosters a sense of security and helps to alleviate feelings of guilt or responsibility.

Family dynamics are often disrupted during a divorce, leading to confusion and uncertainty about new routines or living arrangements. Shiva works with children to help them adapt to these changes by providing them with tools to understand and manage transitions. Visual schedules, social stories, and role-playing are some of the techniques she uses to prepare children for changes, such as moving between two households or adjusting to a new custody arrangement. By breaking down these transitions into manageable steps, Shiva helps children feel more in control and less anxious about the unknown.

In addition to individual sessions with the child, Shiva places a strong emphasis on parental collaboration. She understands that parents may also be dealing with their own emotional challenges during a divorce, which can impact their ability to support their children. Shiva provides parent coaching to help caregivers create a stable and nurturing environment for their children. This includes guidance on effective co-parenting strategies, setting consistent routines, and maintaining open lines of communication with the child. By working closely with both parents (when possible), Shiva ensures that the child’s needs are prioritized and that they feel supported by both caregivers, even amidst the changes.

Shiva also facilitates family sessions when appropriate, providing a space for open communication and healing. These sessions may include structured activities that encourage parents and children to express their feelings in a constructive way, helping to rebuild trust and understanding within the family. Family sessions are particularly useful for addressing any misunderstandings or feelings of abandonment that the child may have. Shiva’s gentle and compassionate guidance allows for honest conversations while ensuring that everyone feels heard and respected.

In cases where children are struggling with loyalty conflicts or feeling torn between their parents, Shiva provides specialized support. She helps children understand that it is okay to love both parents and that they do not have to choose sides. This reassurance can significantly reduce the emotional burden that children often feel during a divorce. Shiva also uses art and writing exercises to help children express their loyalty struggles and work through these complicated feelings in a safe and constructive way.

Shiva’s holistic approach to supporting children through divorce is grounded in her understanding of child development and neuroscience. She believes that children are resilient and capable of adapting to significant changes when given the right tools and support. By focusing on emotional resilience, healthy coping strategies, and open communication, Shiva empowers children to navigate the complexities of divorce and emerge stronger and more self-assured. Her commitment to fostering a sense of stability and hope has helped countless families find healing and new beginnings during one of life’s most challenging transitions.